Remain in Kindness

Learning to respond instead of react.

Growing up, I remember many moments when I would go to my mom in distress. Feeling angry, sad, or confused after a conflict with peers at school or at my dance studio.

I would tell her when things didn’t go the way I expected them to, or when someone had been rude to me.

Her response was always the same: Just be kind.

I remember feeling so annoyed and confused by that answer. It made no sense to me that I should be kind to someone who had hurt me.

She also never really explained the why behind it, which only made me more frustrated.

But now, at 30, I look back and understand it more clearly.

And Mom, thank you for teaching me that lesson.

Kindness can be hard for us, especially when we are hurt, betrayed, confused, sad, or angry. All of those emotions can rise quickly within us, and we can be just as quick to express them outwardly.

I used to be quick to speak out of emotion and slow to listen.

Now, it is something I continually have to practice. Sometimes, I even need prayer at that moment. But I can tell you this: there is precious fruit in being slow to speak, taking a moment to gather your thoughts, your emotions, and how you truly feel before responding.

In that slower process, we create space to respond in kindness.

In Ephesians 4:32, we are reminded, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

I know emotions can run high, and this is often easier said than done.

But we must remember that the person standing in front of you, the one who may have caused hurt or pain, was made the same way you were. They are human just like you. They sin, just like you do.

So, we must be kind.

The act of kindness can go much farther than we realize, especially if the person in front of us is not a believer.

How we respond in difficult moments can truly impact the person we are speaking to. And in the process, we are also watering the fruit of kindness growing within us.

Deep roots lead to stronger, steadier fruit.

I love this reminder in Ephesians because it points us back to something so important: the Lord has been unbelievably kind to us.

And in response, we are called to live that same kindness out toward others.

In Luke 6:35, we are also reminded: “Love your enemies, and do good… and your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”

We are not kind because we want to prove we are better than someone else.

That is not genuine kindness.

True kindness flows from a heart that understands the kindness it has already received from God.

And while we will not get along with everyone in this life, we are still called to be people who reflect the light of Christ in how we treat, speak to, and respond to others…even those who hurt us.

This life is short, so let’s spend our days remaining in kindness, and leave the rest to the Lord.

Love,
Katie Jane 🤍